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Jan. 1st, 2013

Tempest - Lorelei

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Apr. 29th, 2010

Tempest - Lorelei

Farewell, Adieu, Au Revoir

   Today I am moving out of my dorm and back home. I'm chomping at the bits for my mum and step-dad to get here with boxes. I have mostly everything packed away so there will be little work to be done. I just want out of here and back in my own room. I will be without the net for about a month, or at least until I get to England, so posting here will be scarce or nonexistent. But all the same I will be working during this time. Heaven knows I need the money.

  In other news, since I will be traveling abroad for two months this summer I decided to create a travel blog. I won't be updating it any until I am in England, but I thought I would go ahead and post the link here. :)

  I'm still trying to work out a few kinks on it until I am happy with the way it is set up. And I could use a good creative title instead of "The Adventures of  a Pirate". But I am a pirate...I'm going to be boarding Lord Nelson's ship...perhaps I should just stick with that. :D The only downside is I know other people, who don't know the extent of my affiliation with pirates, will be reading it and I am sure they will raise an eyebrow. But who cares. That's me.

  I also decided a Flickr account to host the numerous photos I will be taking so I can share it with others. Granted it will be directly linked to my travel blog I thought I would still provide the website here as well.


  Still trying to work out kinks on this site as well. (More like trying to learn how to use it.) Just excuse the one picture I already have posted. I was making sure the silly thing worked.

  Well, that is all for now. I will see the lot of you on the other side of the pond. :)

Apr. 25th, 2010

Tempest - Lorelei

(no subject)

Sometimes I Think Too MuchCollapse )

Apr. 7th, 2010

Tempest - Lorelei

(no subject)

   Maybe I am going crazy. I feel like I am in some sort of psychotic ward and no matter my behavior I am deemed crazy. If I act normal then I am crazy. If I act crazy then I am crazy. No matter the behavior my diagnosis will always be crazy. You can't just be emotional because that makes you unstable.

  I also feel like I am standing in a crowded room, screaming to the top of my lungs and no one is listening. Do these people not see it? What story has she told them? Barely a week ago she was still leading me on to believe she still wanted to fix things and I was stupid enough to believe her. Yet she played me for a fool, has the gall to call me obsessed because I am hurt, and her friends believe she deserves to be happy. How does anyone who causes the same hurt repeatedly in a matter of months deserve to be happy? What right do they have? If she didn't give a damn about what she did to me then why does she deserve to be happy? I want someone to answer that question. I'm the one that deserves to be happy after she ripped my heart out of my chest. I am the one who needs a day where I am not waking up in pain and ending that day in tears.

  Do I have every thing all wrong? Am I seeing things backwards? Am I going insane?

  I wish I could pull the wool away from everyone's eyes and show them what has really been going on. I can guarantee none of her friends knew that she was still talking to me. Most less the things she was telling me, I want to scream and pull my hair out from frustration. Its just more damage, more emotional harm.

  I could hurt her. I still have that letter saved to my computer. Just a couple of clicks would ruin her little happy world. Its not like she can do anything worse to me. Her cruel words of calling me obsessed because I was in love with her are very piercing. She deserves to get her heart ripped out her chest like she did to me. Not including her amount of deceit.

 I hope she gets her heart crushed. Its the least she deserves.

Feb. 1st, 2008

Alphabet of Thorn

(no subject)

    It is like mother says, everyone we meet in our lives we meet for a reason.

   I believe that very much with Mr. Knockemus. After a very disappointing set back concerning college I emailed him with the problem I faced. He called me today to make sure I was okay....it really meant a lot. He told me to check my email so I did. After a discussion on what I needed to do he left me this beautiful poem by William Stafford called "Ask Me".

Some time when the river is ice ask me
mistakes I have made. Ask me whether
what I have done is my life. Others
have come in their slow way into
my thought, and some have tried to help
or to hurt: ask me what difference
their strongest love or hate has made.

I will listen to what you say.
You and I can turn and look
at the silent river and wait. We know
the current is there, hidden; and there
are comings and goings from miles away
that hold the stillness exactly before us.
What the river says, that is what I say

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