?

Log in

Tempest - Lorelei

   Maybe I am going crazy. I feel like I am in some sort of psychotic ward and no matter my behavior I am deemed crazy. If I act normal then I am crazy. If I act crazy then I am crazy. No matter the behavior my diagnosis will always be crazy. You can't just be emotional because that makes you unstable.

  I also feel like I am standing in a crowded room, screaming to the top of my lungs and no one is listening. Do these people not see it? What story has she told them? Barely a week ago she was still leading me on to believe she still wanted to fix things and I was stupid enough to believe her. Yet she played me for a fool, has the gall to call me obsessed because I am hurt, and her friends believe she deserves to be happy. How does anyone who causes the same hurt repeatedly in a matter of months deserve to be happy? What right do they have? If she didn't give a damn about what she did to me then why does she deserve to be happy? I want someone to answer that question. I'm the one that deserves to be happy after she ripped my heart out of my chest. I am the one who needs a day where I am not waking up in pain and ending that day in tears.

  Do I have every thing all wrong? Am I seeing things backwards? Am I going insane?

  I wish I could pull the wool away from everyone's eyes and show them what has really been going on. I can guarantee none of her friends knew that she was still talking to me. Most less the things she was telling me, I want to scream and pull my hair out from frustration. Its just more damage, more emotional harm.

  I could hurt her. I still have that letter saved to my computer. Just a couple of clicks would ruin her little happy world. Its not like she can do anything worse to me. Her cruel words of calling me obsessed because I was in love with her are very piercing. She deserves to get her heart ripped out her chest like she did to me. Not including her amount of deceit.

 I hope she gets her heart crushed. Its the least she deserves.

Comments